A taste of the NI experience

Current Belfast YAV Beth R. created a video for the recent YAV Discernment weekend.

As I've shared before, Discernment (a.k.a. Placement) was the first time I met the volunteers I would serve with in Belfast, and felt welcomed into the YAV community that I love so much. Beth sent me the video a few weeks ago for a little trip down memory lane, and now that she's posted it on YouTube I'm happy to share this opportunity for you to see an updated glimpse into the life of a Belfast YAV:

And don't forget - if you are between the ages of 19-30, and you are interested in a career in non-profit work, humanitarian aid or church service, you can still apply to be a Young Adult Volunteer at one of our 15 National sites! See www.pcusa.org/yav for more details.

Quest Physics

Several years ago, I read the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I imagine most of the people who are reading this have maybe at least heard of it...

Not long before deciding to begin the process of applying for a YAV year, I finally rented the movie version on Netflix. At the time, I wrote down a quote from the movie and kind of forgot about it - until this evening, when I caught the movie again on TV. It felt a little like coming full circle:

In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.

Attraversiamo.

All Being Well

"All Being Well" - a phrase I've come to know and love during my time here in Belfast. Typically, it's used when making plans: "I'll see you Sunday then, all being well." I love it because it serves as a reminder that things happen... plans change.

It brings to mind a similar concept I learned during my time in Morocco: Insha'Allah (Inshallah), which means God willing, or if God wills it. This was said whenever we made plans. A constant reminder that our plans are not really our own, that we are reliant on God's will in everything we do.

Part of this was entirely practical in a culture like Morocco, because plans often changed due to unforeseeable circumstances. We became used to saying, "Tomorrow we will go into the city, Inshallah," knowing that in reality our bus might be broken or the person we were supposed to meet was no longer available. I've tried to remember this concept over the years, which at some times is easier than others. There are many variants on the theme: Inshallah, All Being Well, and my personal favorite, "God Willing and the Creek Don't Rise."

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city. We will spend a year there. We will buy and sell and make money.” 14 You don’t even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? It is a mist that appears for a little while. Then it disappears. 15 Instead, you should say, “If it pleases the Lord, we will live and do this or that.”

James 4:13-15 (NIRV)

I'm trying to extend myself grace as I make plans for the next few months. The honest truth is that I don't even have an inkling of what the future holds for me. And I'm getting closer to being okay with that. Inshallah.

A Lifetime of Change

I will interrupt this week's planned rehash of Belfast-ness for a moment to talk about the Young Adult Volunteer program. It's coming up on application season for 2013-14, which means it's been a year since I walked into the YAV office to let E. know my decision to apply for "a year of service for a lifetime of change".

What a whirlwind these past 365 days have been!

The decision to take a completely different path in my status quo was difficult for me, but definitely the best choice I've ever made. The PC(USA) has recently renewed its dedication to Young Adults by challenging the YAV program to triple its size and scope in the next five years. This means it's easier than ever to join this wacky YAV family, and to find a program that suits your passions. To do this, they have made a few changes to the program that I'm really excited to share:

• Additional site placements in Boston, Peru, Philippines and South Korea. Work in each site generally focuses on the major issues in that city or country - like Northern Ireland's dedication to peacemaking and reconciliation, Boston's food justice program, root causes of poverty in Peru, education in South Korea, border policies in Tucson, urban ministry in Miami, Chicago, Hollywood and others.... a complete list of sites and their work can be found here. 
• Lower funding requirements! This year I was blessed to have amazing support from family, friends and members of my congregation to raise the $8000 required for International service. Next year, funding requirements will be cut in HALF - meaning $4000 for an International site and just $3000 for a National site placement.

Becoming a part of this YAV family (which, if you'll notice, is the only way I refer to this group) has been incredible. When I walked into the placement event back in March, I felt for the first time that I had found "my people" - goofy and fun with a heart for the Lord.

This program has been in place for almost 20 years, which means they KNOW what they're doing. Discernment and placement events ensure that the best fit is attained for both the candidate and site, and I was completely prepared at orientation for the upcoming challenges of mission service. 

International Placement Event at LPTS - March 2012

Orientation at Stony Point - August 2012

Things you should know if you're considering the program:

• Young Adult Volunteers are between the ages of 19-30. Sometimes you need to be 21 for specific / international sites, but they even accept second-career old fogeys like me.
• The Louisville office is there to help you make the best decision for you, and to ensure you're in the right place. I had the benefit of proximity, but they were SO helpful when I started the discernment process.
• You don't actually have to be a Presbyterian. You will be doing the work of the church, but the PC(USA) partners with other denominations to do their work around the world. Members of this year's YAV group alone come from the PC(USA), Methodist, Mennonite and Catholic churches. 
• I'm sure it's obvious, but: I am always happy to answer questions about my journey. Feel free to email me any time!

Courtesy Jeff Moles (@jeffmoles)

Clumsy

Anyone who has ever met me can testify to the fact that I am not exactly graceful.

Yes, I'm the girl who got a concussion playing ultimate frisbee, broke her nose playing sharks and minnows, sprained her ankle on a first date. The girl who was actually referred to physical therapy for being accident-prone.

But for once, it's not that type of "clumsy" that I'm talking about. The type of clumsy I mean is referred to in Exodus, chapter 4:

But Moses pleaded with the LORD, "O Lord, I'm just not a good speaker. I never have been, and I'm not now, even after you have spoken to me. I'm clumsy with words."

Exodus 4:10

This passage comes soon after Moses' call in the wilderness (pop over to my flat-mate Anna's blog for the particularly insightful discussion of Exodus 3 which inspired this post). While I don't have Moses' stutter, it is difficult for me to share my faith with a crowd (remember that post about avoiding seminary?). I always feel that things come out wrong or I'll say something stupid - so I avoid it. My cousin's wife kindly asked me to read a blessing at their wedding last month, and I was touched. But when I realized she meant pray, spontaneously, in front of hundreds of guests... I panicked.

So, I get what you must be thinking: "this girl has essentially signed up to be a missionary for a year, and praying in front of people gives her palpitations. She must be cuckoo for cocoa puffs." (Your inner monologue is so sassy, Reader!)

I know that for the most part, I've kept the tone of this blog light and focused on my preparations and excitement for the adventure I'm embarking upon. But while I've always felt this year as a Young Adult Volunteer has been the response to an unmistakable calling, it's easier to get caught up in the details of the trip itself than to face my very real fears about what will happen when I get to Belfast.

In my previous work with youth, my greatest concerns have been relatively trivial: Will we have enough food at youth group? Would the kids rather play laser tag or go rollerskating? The youth I've had the pleasure of spending time with for the past 7 years have been for the most part happy, privileged and well-adjusted. I don't know how I will be able to reach kids with such a vastly different upbringing.

Together, the Northern Ireland team will be learning to understand and interpret another culture.  It's intimidating to know that I still have so much to learn about the community I'll be living in, but we are tasked with bringing an outside perspective to the communities in which we serve. I know that my mission is a ministry of presence - to be there for these kids and make them feel loved and special. But even though I consider it a special gift to love people, that doesn't mean that I know what I'm doing - I have constant fears of inadequacy and failure. I wonder if I can really do anything to make their lives better.

For those wondering, I eventually flustered my way through the prayer at my cousin's wedding with only two or three "ums" (yes, someone counted for me). I let it go to God, and while I still have no idea what I actually said, I survived the experience. People actually came up and complimented me later... I will pretend it was because I said something meaningful, and not that they saw me break into tears as soon as it was over. I figure that with this coming adventure, that's all I can do: put it in God's hands and hope I don't make a fool of myself!

Discernment and Commissioning

dis-cern [dih-surn, -zurn]

verb (used with object)

1. to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize or apprehend: They discerned a sail on the horizon.
2. to distinguish mentally; recognize as distinct or different; discriminate: He is incapable of discerning right from wrong.

We spend a lot of time talking about discernment in the Young Adult Volunteer program. Discerning whether to spend a year in the program, whether to stay at home or abroad, which vocation will follow your YAV year... it's a word I have become a lot more familiar with since our placement weekend in March.

I was joking with a few members of my congregation that I've been successfully avoiding seminary since graduating with a religion minor 7 years ago. Since admitting this, I've been actively challenged in this avowal - multiple times - from several different places. I was discussing this with my friend, the recently Reverend Alex, and he pointed out that I'm not the only one who has felt like running in the opposite direction of a perceived call. What's up, Jonah?

com-mis-sion [kuh-mish-uhn]

verb (used with object)

1. to give a commission to: to commission a graduate of a military academy.
2. to authorize; send on a mission.
3. to give the order that places a warship, military command, etc., in a state of complete readiness for active duty.
4. to give a commission or order for: The owners commissioned a painting for the building's lobby.

Last night, Will (future Kenya YAV) and I were recognized at a special meeting of the Mid-Kentucky Presbytery. We were reminded that our commissioning was both a privilege and a responsibility to uphold with God's help. Among the vows that we pledged were a commitment to accepting the persons we serve where they are and just the way they are, to work in glad cooperation and mutual support with other workers, to demonstrate our love of Christ and commitment to our call.

As my time here is wrapping  up, the importance of this decision is becoming clear. Feeling literally carried in love as I begin this journey reminds me so much of my ordination as a ruling elder 3 years ago. I can still feel the waves of warmth and love from those in the congregation who laid hands on our class and prayed for our service. Since that day, I still can't hear the hymn, "Here I am Lord" without choking back a tear. I particularly like the revised version we sing at Second - rather than going if God leads us, we should be open to going where.

Here I am Lord, is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord, where you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart.

Daniel L. Schutte (revision in italic)

My new family

Friends, meet (most of) the 2012-13 YAV class, and a few of our fantastic facilitators!

The placement event was really great. For the past 3 days, 24 potential Young Adult Volunteers spent time getting to know one another, learning more about International site options, and interviewing with site coordinators. The focus of the weekend was on discernment - PC(USA) staff and former YAVs shared their stories of going through the process, which I think really helped us realize we weren't alone in the confusion and difficulty we were experiencing. By the end of it all, we were able to place it all in the hands of God and trust that the placement we received would be the place we could be best utilized within this program. 

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:7-10

Overall, the group got along really well, and I am so glad to be a part of this funny little YAV family. We had a fantastic weekend getting to know each other, and I really look forward to seeing everyone again (and meeting those who weren't at this event) at the orientation in August!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

As of about 9 p.m. tonight, St. Patrick's Day, I learned that I will be spending my next year in Belfast, Northern Ireland! I'm really excited for the opportunities this will offer to work with local churches and youth in a ministry of peacemaking and reconciliation.

I know the first question many of you are wondering is, "what about India"? It's no secret that I was originally drawn to this program because of my desire to live abroad in India. Throughout this weekend, I heard story after story about YAV Alums who had gone into the weekend TOTALLY SURE they would choose one site, and ended up feeling called to another. When it came time to give my preferences, it was actually a harder decision than I expected.

Unfortunately, the India program has been discontinued for the 2012-13 year, as there were not enough applicants to develop the sense of community that YAV is based around. In interviews and conversations I've had throughout the weekend, I feel that the work I'll be doing in Northern Ireland will actually be a great, if not better, fit for my skills and interests.

I'll definitely need your support in the coming months. I would appreciate your consideration and prayer for the people that will become my second family over the next year and a half: Anna, Beth, Courtney, David, Grace, Kathryn, TJ, our site coordinator Doug and all of the other YAVs who have discerned their calling (Kenya! New Orleans! Guatemala! Denver!...) over our past 3 days together.

I am SO excited about traveling with this group. The people I've been placed with in Northern Ireland are seriously amazing and hilarious and Belfast has no idea what it's in for!

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

© Abbey of Gethsemani 

Happy Valentine's Day!

As a sweet surprise, I got an exciting email today (OK, technically last night)!

You are invited to interview with up to two international YAV sites at the YAV Placement Event, March 15-18, in Louisville, KY. By sending you this invitation, the YAV staff team indicates that pending the results of your interviews with individual sites, we believe you are a good candidate for placement in a national or international YAV site for the 2012-2013 YAV cycle. Being invited to Placement Event is not a guarantee of placement. However, if a national and/or international site requests you as a YAV for this next cycle, the YAV staff team is in full support of your appointment as a YAV. 

!!!

While it isn't surprising based on my interviews last month, it is nice to have something concrete to look forward to! The difficult decision that comes now is choosing the two sites I'd like to interview with at the event.

India is my obvious first choice - seeing that there was a program there is what initially sealed the intention to apply to the YAV program, and it's just one of those places I've always wanted to visit. Easy pick. My second choice is significantly more difficult.

My first inclination is still Northern Ireland. It is the land of my ancestors, afterall, and the programs I would be involved with focus on work with local youth, which has always been a personal passion. Plus, my friend Steph lives like 20 minutes away, and that would be awesome. The drawback is that it's one of the most popular sites in the program, which means its highly selective. I'd hate to miss out entirely if I didn't make it in to either program (the sorority girl in me wonders if they offer snap bids).

The other choices suggested for me are Guatemala and Kenya. Neither of these were on my initial list, but were suggested by the program coordinator based on the interests I expressed in my application. Of these, I'm leaning more toward Guatemala. My main fear is that my Spanish is pretty spotty... but an intensive language course at the beginning of the program is meant to fix that one. Friends that have been there are highly complimentary.

So, Northern Ireland or Guatemala? Either way, I need to make my decision soon. Lots of prayers for discernment will be flying!

And in the spirit of love, a favorite verse in honor of the holiday:

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 1:1-3; 13 

Back to the beginning

Hi.

This is me.

...or at least it was, about 22.5 years ago.


Floridian by birth, Kentuckian by choice, I'm about to begin an adventure that will change my life forever - a year abroad with the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)'s Young Adult Volunteer program.


Right now, I'm playing the waiting game. All of my applications are complete, recommendations are in, and I have 6 weeks to go until the site interviews will determine whether I get it. All of this waiting is driving me crazy - I can't make my decision 100% public until I've actually been accepted, so even after months of personal discernment and applications... I wait!

While YAV encourages participants to host a blog during their year in the program, I decided to start early. During the past few months of researching the program and sites that I find appealing, I've found the blogs by other participants to be really helpful. I've really gotten excited about my decision, and at this point I feel like I know the people I'll be working with at my top choice sites!

Here's a look at the process up to this point:

About about a year and a half ago, I started to work for the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). I love my job... so don't take the fact that I'm applying for this program to mean anything but! Being in the national headquarters, however, opened me up to the programs that the denomination offers. YAV is one that I had never heard of, but really appealed to me. I began to wish that I'd heard about it when I was just out of college my life was still more flexible. While I was packing up my apartment last fall, I realized it's not too late to make a change.

So I went for it. I put all my stuff in storage and worked up the courage to ask my parents if I could {gulp} move in with them for a year until I left (for the record, I didn't really need all that courage, they are totally supportive and cool about it). I began to talk to my friends and coworkers that had been involved with the program, and they suggested that I start researching sites I was interested in - particularly by reading the blogs of participants.

I started working on the application and rounding up recommendations, which were due mid-January, and had my first round of interviews with the YAV staff. I told them about my first-preference sites (India and Northern Ireland), and they gave me a few suggestions as well based on my interests and strengths, which was really interesting - since they know the site coordinators, they suggested things I might not have originally considered (Guatemala and Kenya).

Now that the hard work is over, I've begun to get a little nervous about the change.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11