Stories from Silence

Earlier this week, David invited me to come along with him for a work thing. Since this was the first time I've been able to accept an invitation on a Thursday evening, and there was the promise of free food (YAV life!), I accepted the vague invitation and hopped in the WAVE minibus with no idea what to expect.

It turns out, the event was the launching of a website, Stories from Silence, that is the culmination of a storytelling project documenting those injured or bereaved as a result of "the Troubles" here in Northern Ireland. The theme of the evening was stories by those who had lost children during the conflict. While David's placement allows him to have frequent interaction with these topics, this was the first time I'd heard stories like this discussed openly. The culture here in many ways encourages those who have had a difficult time to keep it to themselves, part of what leads to such high rates of suicide and depression. Luckily, places like the WAVE Trauma Centre are here to encourage people to tell their stories and talk about their feelings.

I had the powerful experience of sitting next to a man called Michael as his story was played for the crowd. Although the Troubles are officially over, it is important to remember that the pain is still incredibly real for the people who lost their loved ones during this time. I encourage you to visit http://storiesfromsilence.com and listen to a few of them for a better idea of what many people we know here in Belfast have been through.

The event also featured popular folk singer Tommy Sands as he used his method of music and storytelling for healing. He was kind enough to speak to David and I at length after the event. I couldn't find any of the songs he sang on YouTube, but here is a little taste of his music:

Guest post: Richard Higginson

Each month in our church newsletter, we invite the congregation, staff or community members to write an opinion piece. This month's piece was written by my coworker, Richard, who talked to members of Tiger's Bay (where we do much of our outreach) about their opinions of cultural displays in their community. I thought it would be an interesting perspective to include here - so I got his permission to repost for your reading pleasure!

I Hear Voices
Richard Higginson

Voices over the proposed peace wall amendments at Duncairn:

How would you like it if you looked out of your window everyday through a 30ft height barred fence - do people want to keep living in prisons?

There'll be no walls coming down here. No one's come and talked to us for starters. If you lived up against the interface, would you feel safe when / if it was removed? Of course you wouldn't. They'll be stoning your windees and petrol bombing you just like before. Nothing has changed. This community will not be ready for another 30 or 40 years.


Voices over "shared space" 
Shared Space is totally one-sided. Why is it always us that has to share? Where isn't there shared space in Republican areas like the New Lodge? Enough is enough. We're not giving up any more ground. Shared space is nothing more than a Nationalist/Republican strategy to take over our land.

Shared space must be totally neutral - cultural symbols, flags, or traditions must not be practiced in such a place.

Voices over kerbstone painting and bonfire

Look at what they done! It’s all around the community centre and the doctor’s surgery too. There's catholics goes there you know. What are they going to think now?

They say they want more housing. How are they going to get more housing when they've made the place look like a dump! 

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Maybe we're sick and tired of hearing these voices? Maybe we're hearing them for the first time? Maybe I'm reflecting your voice in these reflections? Hearing voices thrusts us into the chaos and complexity around the issues held dear by the people around us. If we dare to ask the questions, and if we care to listen, we might regret it when we experience the discharge of raw, pent-up emotion. Nevertheless, when we open up channels of communication in this way, we help each other to become conscious of their own opinion, and often our own opinion becomes clear. This is the first step. The next is to not only become conscious of what others think, but to receive it - like a gift, however unwelcome it may feel. That’s not easy to do.

When we begin to receive a number of different opinions as well as our own, our tendency to rush to solutions becomes halted by an appreciation of complexity. For example: How can communities like Tigers Bay generate a demand for housing when its appearance can be viewed as uninviting, hostile or intimidating? How can the celebration of national/cultural identity or remembrance of the past in N.Ireland be accepted without perceived threat or triumphalism? What degree of community safety and confidence is required to broker breaches in peace walls? Or are these things ever elusive for traumatised societies like Inner North Belfast?

So why bother in the first place?

Maybe we feel a sense of obligation? - that's what Christians ought to do. Maybe we can't get away from it despite want of trying? But maybe it’s because the Son is rising in our hearts? - the Creator and Sustainer of all things, (Col 1:16-17) the One who has reconciled all things to himself, (Col 1:20) destroying the dividing wall of hostility (Eph 2:14). The One who has become our Peace, and the One who entrusts us with the ministry of peace through the power of the Son (Matt 5:9, 2Cor 5:18-21). If this is our chosen reality, by faith, then there is great hope in the midst of hopelessness. Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed, and so he became the father of many nations... (Rom 4:18) Because the love of God has the final word, no one is a write off! Everyone is included in the journey of learning to see ourselves and each other as God the Father sees us. May the eternal life that God has given us in the unity of the Son be unveiled to us as we turn our hearts towards His face.

Richard Higginson has been the Bricks to Bridges Project Development Worker at Fortwilliam and Macrory Presbyterian Church since January 2011. He works as a self-employed Community Relations Consultant following the completion of a Masters degree in Conflict Transformation through the Centre for Justice & Peacebuilding at Eastern Mennonite University, Virginia, USA.

Richard currently lives in North Belfast with his wife and two children.

No silence for peace

Unfortunately, I didn't hear about this until this evening - but earlier today, there was a peace rally at City Hall - representing the "silent majority" of those who are opposed to the violent outbursts that I assume must have hit the news back home again last night (due to another influx of concerned texts and emails).

I couldn't imbed the BBC link here (in the article above), but found this on YouTube...



(Apparently there was another I missed last month as well...)



So yes, I'm still safe. And there is hope here in Northern Ireland.

Peace and quiet (retreat days 3 and 4)

After the first two crazy-long posts about our retreat, I thought I'd give you a break and do a quick roundup of the rest of the retreat...

The 3rd day of the retreat was just a chill day at home. I napped while the others went into the city, but otherwise it was more of the glorious same: sit by fire, play cards, cook food, read and repeat. It was Halloween, though - and I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I bummed around the house in the festive socks and earrings sent to me by my darling nieces. The boys conned us in to watching Cabin in the Woods that night by saying it was not really a scary movie. I beg to differ. Joss Whedon was the only reason I watched it at all, and the concept was interesting... but I maintain that with that much blood and jumpy-outy things, that's a scary movie.

Our last day of retreat began by packing up our little (big!) house and heading back to Murlough National Nature Reserve for the Bathgate group's Bible Study (we visited it for the first time during orientation), so it was nice to have a place feel familiar.

This time, the tide was high, and the sound of the waves beating the rocky shore made for a peaceful time of personal reflection. A nice end to our first retreat. 

And end it did. We arrived home to the realization that by turning off our boiler while we were gone, the gauge went crazy and we were now without hot water. Which heats our showers AND our radiators. So that was a fun re-entry to reality. Thank goodness for a quickly-responsive landlord!

A break from the busyness

Double rainbow - what does it mean?!

Today was good.

David agreed to take me on the Cave Hill hike I missed a few weeks ago, and the weather was perfect for the trek. Apparently my daily walk to work hasn't been quite as taxing as I'd hoped, because I found myself to be quite out of breath on the way up! While my body is exhausted and empty this evening, my spirit is full. Today was just what I needed.

For those who don't know, Cave Hill is a prominent feature visible from most of Belfast. The outcropping of rock resembles the profile of Napoleon, tri-corner hat and all, and is said to be the inspiration for Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels. It is just about 2 miles from our house, but this was the first time I'd made the trip.

It was so refreshing to be out in nature. The scenery is gorgeous, and reminded me what is so special about the place that I now call home. I've been so bogged down in bus schedules, difficult interactions with young people at work, rainy days and late nights in the office, that I forget to take a look at the wider picture and appreciate what is around me. I didn't get any photos of the more foresty bits of the trail, but just picture Fern Gully meets Never Never Land. The wind rustling in the leaves reminded me to breathe for the first time in weeks.

About halfway up. We're going to the very top!

 

My mind wandered most of the way up the trail. Every challenge I encountered became a symbol of things I've been struggling with for the past few weeks: the feeling of helplessness as I couldn't find my footing in the slick mud, my initial unwillingness to get my hands dirty. The difficulty I find in admitting my weaknesses and reaching out for (or accepting) a friend's hand to pull me up. Thankfully, David was a patient guide, letting me stop often to catch my breath (under the guise of taking a photo) and take my own sweet time getting up the path.  

Surprise rain storm!

I may have labeled today's post under "small victories" - but I think overall, reaching the summit was much more than that for me today. The gift I have been given, allowing me to spend this year in a place that feels so close to the divine, should not be forgotten. I need to take more time to enjoy the journey!

View from the top

I've sung in mountain cathedrals, with steeples rising high. With altars made of evergreens and windows made of sky...

Success!

Facing History

This has been a very full week, and I will do my best to synthesize all the thoughts running around in my head into one semi-coherent thought!

With Amanda at
TITANIC Belfast

First things first: last Tuesday, I had my first visitors! OK, so Amanda was really in Ireland to visit her family, but I was totally the beneficiary of this trip when they came to Belfast on my day off and I was able to go do "touristy" things with them. I was particularly excited to take the bus tour, hoping to receive new insights on the murals which Doug had only touched on in passing during orientation. As it turns out, Doug is such a fantastic tour guide that he gave us more information in passing throughout the city than the fellow whose job it is to provide this service! Hooray for Doug!

It was interesting, however, to see the murals through a different lens. I've begun to see how people can quickly categorize others around here, as the perspective of this nameless tour bus driver was quite different from those I've experienced... so my first thought was automatically, "I wonder if he grew up in a Nationalist neighborhood?"

On Wednesday, Anna, David and I went to an event hosted by David's placement site, the WAVE Trauma Centre (introduced here). As part of their week-long Autumn Seminar Series, they hosted a night exploring the use of comedy as a peace-building tool. It was an interesting insight into a coping mechanism of those living in Belfast at the height of the Troubles.

The following night, WAVE hosted a discussion of the film Judgment at Nuremburg as an example of their Facing History series. Clips from the video were shown interspersed with discussion about the psychiatry of compliance and conformity of the German population. Of course, for an Anthro/Soc nerd like me, it was a blast hearing Durkheim's collective consciousness discussed in casual conversation... but the heart of the conversation seemed to carry through my experiences for the rest of the week. Essentially about what it meant, both in Nazi Germany and Belfast at the height of the Troubles, to be an ordinary person in extraordinary circumstances, and individual complicity therein. How do we move past this to rebuild a healthy society?

On Friday, my coworkers from Fortwilliam and Macrory went to the old Crumlin Gaol (jail) for the unveiling of a report given for Bridge of Hope, a program of the local Ashton Community Trust, entitled Transitional Justice: Grassroots Engagement. I was intrigued by this model, exploring the place where conflict ends and rebuilding begins. Much like the discussion on Thursday night, there was a focus on the high costs related to the "survival skill" of moving forward from conflict without looking back and recognizing where you've been.

Transitional Justice launch
at Crumlin Gaol

The goal of this report was to look at the past and to have those difficult conversations, in an attempt to show the young people in their communities that they are committed to moving forward and ensuring a future that is peaceful and prosperous for future generations. 

The Transitional Justice model has five key pillars: 

1. Truth-seeking and fact-finding
2. Trials / criminal accountability
3. Reparations
4. Institutional reform
5. Memorialization and collective memory

In essence, as a trust-building measure each party must be willing to listen to the other about their disparate experiences related to the same conflict. Different neighborhoods in Belfast have different experiences of the Troubles, which highlights a deep divide in this society. Much like the Judgement at Nuremburg film, it is important to face the truth of our past to help the survivors of this conflict, to recognize that harm has been done or trust has been broken, and to step up to the responsibilities of individual needs that arise from this. It is important to recognize where mistakes were made or systems were flawed in order to move forward efficiently, but it would be a disservice to those who have been affected by past injustices to move forward without recognizing the realities of this past.

The very location of the event was meaningful in that the jail is where many political prisoners were held during the Troubles until the building was decommissioned in 1996. For reference: the report states that 30,000 people spent time in prison due to the conflict. Many of these former prisoners have been internationally recognized as playing a positive and critical role in conflict transformation. A few of these were instrumental in this project, and in attendance at this event, which made me wonder what it would be like to go back in such a different time - facades repaired, cells repainted... completely whitewashed for public consumption.

    Original cells in unfinished side                                          Refurbished cells for public tours

      Dirty, peeling paint and general disrepair                      What a difference a fresh coat of paint makes!

In the spirit of looking back, next weekend is the 100th anniversary of the signing of the Ulster Covenant. This document essentially stated at the time that the undersigned would like to remain loyal to King George (and by extension remain a part of the United Kingdom), and is still very important to many people in this community. The key phrase included, however, is "...defending,... using all means which may be found necessary...", which has been used by some as a rallying cry for violence. With this important anniversary approaching, as well as the recent uproar over parades, much of the city is bracing itself for potential unrest to occur over the next few weeks. It remains to be seen whether this concern will be valid. 

I realize that this post has expanded to record length, so I will leave you with words from my supervisor at Fortwilliam & Macrory, the imitable Reverend Lesley Carroll:

"In the short-term we face a parade on September 29th with the potential to have civil unrest around it. In the longer-term we face the challenge of how to live with each other even after all these years. We face the challenge of how to let each other off hooks, how to do things that will help the other side to trust us and step out on new roads of relationship. We face the challenge of building and not tearing down, of offering hope to young people who as things stand right now don’t even have the hope of a job, at least not many of them. We face the challenge of working out what mutual respect actually means and looks like in society. We face the challenge of what to do about the truths yet to be revealed and we kid ourselves that a good dose of some truths will put things back the way they should be with the good people looking after the governance and the bad people either shamed or in jail. It simply won’t work. In the longer-term there is much to be faced."

Rev. Lesley Carroll

(I encourage you to visit this page and read the rest of her post on transitional justice.)